World Cup? Nah, I’ll Stand In a Wheat Field Thanks…

So there’s loads of stuff I could write about, like exams. But I’ve already written about them, and they’re boring. Every knows what exams are like. So I’ll instead write about the random evening I’ve just had.

(N.B. This isn’t a rant about how much I hate football, it’s just necessary contextually. Also note that I’m only unpatriotic when it comes to football. Any other sporting event such as rugby or the Olympics, I’m fine with. Please don’t get angry with me for hating football, it’s a subjective thing, yeah? Opinions, entitlement to it, blah blah blah…)

So now you know: I hate football. Many reasons, but mainly the ponseyness, the fact that footballers are hideously overpaid, and the St. George’s flags on cars and buildings. No, I don’t play football myself, but this isn’t a reason. Anyway, this relates to the fact that the World Cup started yesterday (which you knew) and England were playing the USA this evening (which again, you knew). As expected, my dislike of football is thorough, and so includes the World Cup; it means there isn’t even the possibility of fleeing the country, because it’s kinda world wide (it does what it says on the tin I guess).

(I’m really overdoing it with the parenthesis/brackets aren’t I? Ahh well. What I was going to put here is that there are a couple of positives to the World Cup: the first of which is that beer and TVs get alot cheaper. The other is discussed below…)

So what does someone like me, who you now think is a completely unpatriotic and a complete freak, do on an evening such a this? Well, just as I walked past living room, America equalised. Mum and I of course cheered in unison. After which my lone artistic brain cell woke up and noticed that the view from my bedroom window was quite nice. So I decided I’d go outside and take some pictures. And I had a little too much fun doing it…
To start with I wandered into the wheat field behind our house, for photographic perspective, as there was rather a nice sunset. The resulting puzzled looks and double takes from the minute amount of passing traffic was brilliant! I think it’s one of the things I enjoy most in life, getting puzzled and shocked reactions from people. I even got honked by a bunch of chavs, so thankyou, wherever you are.
The empty B road also provided some good photographic opportunities to my mind. So there I was, kneeling in the middle of an empty road that is absolutely chocka at times, and fairly busy at the best of times. It felt bizarre, yet absolutely amazing. Maybe it’s why I enjoy films about dystopian futures so much, wondering around when it seems like the place is deserted. Anyway, I’ve no idea if the photos are any good, I’m yet to upload them off the camera, but fingers crossed…

Then whilst on the phone to Alba (who was slightly creeped out at the fact that I was wondering down the middle of main roads) I decided I’d wonder past the pubs to see if anything exciting was happening. As it happened, it did. Before the pub itself there was a bunch of a dozen or so mini chavs, a couple of whom had those irritating horn things that loads of football fans have in South Africa. They appeared to be having barrels of fun hooting at passing motorists, and of course me. I’m sure some abuse was hurled too, but I paid no attention. I then walked past the Admiral Duncan, just as the match had finished it appeared. Of course, I proceeded to try and guess the outcome of the game by the pub-goers’ facial expressions:
-Beer garden: fags in hands, pints in some, glum faces, little conversation
-View through pub window: not many standing, pints in hand, undistinguishable faces
-Car park: people hurriedly getting into cars, little conversation, glum faces.
Consequently I drew the conclusion that it was either a draw or the USA had won (which, it transpired, they hadn’t. I guess there would’ve been shots on the table if they had). No action was to be seen outside the slightly more conservative New Inn, where people were probably still drowning their “sorrows”.

And there you have it, my wonderful alternative to what sounds like quite a depressing evening for most. As much as it pains me to say it, I do kind of hope England stay in a bit longer, because then I can do this more often…