I’ve Cloned Davina!

Now don’t worry folks, I haven’t cloned Davina McCall. Now I’ve got that cleared, I can tell you about some more of the randomness that inhabits my life.

I am in possesion of a variety of plants, all of whom I’m very fond of. There’s Sandra, my IKEAn water plant, Ellie the Yukka, Audrey the Avacado plant (brought back (as a stone) from my holiday in Zimbabwe a couple of years ago, who has now nearly reached the roof in the convervatory, creating a new problem of where to put her) and finally Davina the Spider Plant. I now must also pay respects to Val, the Venus Fly Trap, who unfortunately shriveled up and died recently.

A few months ago, I sat down at my desk and was horrified to see a small chunk of Davina sitting there. After considdering throwing it in the bin, I came up with a much better idea. At the time, we were doing something or other on plant cloning in biology, so I decided that I would try some for myself. Using the chunk of Davina as my cutting, I placed the base into Ellie’s pot, and waited…
…and so to cut a long story short, it worked, and Davina the Second (a genetically identical clone) is getting on quite well in Ellie’s pot. Whether Davina II takes over and kills Ellie, I don’t know, watch this space.

In the meantime, our Belgian French teacher has gone on maternity leave, most probably until the new year, leaving us with our temporary replacement, Miss Roley [*que screams*] . I swear she is realted to my maths/ICT teacher Mr. Green, as she is terribly dull, simply making you copy off the board/OHP (yup, that now antiquated piece of technology). And she doesn’t explain anything properly, meaning my GCSE French coursework will suffer.
So I have formulated a plan.
Jan, the lovely secretary, will hopefully give me the details of where Mrs. Van Mulders lives. Then we can kidnap her baby, until she returns to work.
All good in theory…

But anyway, how does this relate to Davina II?
Well she asked us to write (at least) half an A4 side describing our bedrooms, using some new vocab. She then made the fatal mistake of saying: “You can make things up, so long as its believable”. Well my interpretation of “believable” might differ from hers, so to test her randomness tolerance, I mentioned the following things in my piece of French:
(i) The names of my plants
(ii) That I have a wild cheese in a cage, that I rescued from the mountains of Latvia.
(iii) That I keep crystal balls in my wardrobe.
(iv) How to clone plants.
(v) That (at current) me and my Latvian cheese have to sleep in the living room as there is an infestation of umbrellas in my room.
(vi) That I would like a bigger room, with space for my elephants, giraffes and hippos.
(vii) That I would like to set up a sanctuary for other wild cheeses in the future

(How accurate the French is, I’m not sure, but I did the best I could)

If she does not react well to this piece of French, I shall have proved her to be the boring person that I expected. I should mention at this point that the all (bar one) of my French/Spanish teachers over the years have been very tolerant of my randomness, and have usually just laughed at it. How this one reacts, I will find out on Wednesday…