World Cup? Nah, I’ll Stand In a Wheat Field Thanks…

So there’s loads of stuff I could write about, like exams. But I’ve already written about them, and they’re boring. Every knows what exams are like. So I’ll instead write about the random evening I’ve just had.

(N.B. This isn’t a rant about how much I hate football, it’s just necessary contextually. Also note that I’m only unpatriotic when it comes to football. Any other sporting event such as rugby or the Olympics, I’m fine with. Please don’t get angry with me for hating football, it’s a subjective thing, yeah? Opinions, entitlement to it, blah blah blah…)

So now you know: I hate football. Many reasons, but mainly the ponseyness, the fact that footballers are hideously overpaid, and the St. George’s flags on cars and buildings. No, I don’t play football myself, but this isn’t a reason. Anyway, this relates to the fact that the World Cup started yesterday (which you knew) and England were playing the USA this evening (which again, you knew). As expected, my dislike of football is thorough, and so includes the World Cup; it means there isn’t even the possibility of fleeing the country, because it’s kinda world wide (it does what it says on the tin I guess).

(I’m really overdoing it with the parenthesis/brackets aren’t I? Ahh well. What I was going to put here is that there are a couple of positives to the World Cup: the first of which is that beer and TVs get alot cheaper. The other is discussed below…)

So what does someone like me, who you now think is a completely unpatriotic and a complete freak, do on an evening such a this? Well, just as I walked past living room, America equalised. Mum and I of course cheered in unison. After which my lone artistic brain cell woke up and noticed that the view from my bedroom window was quite nice. So I decided I’d go outside and take some pictures. And I had a little too much fun doing it…
To start with I wandered into the wheat field behind our house, for photographic perspective, as there was rather a nice sunset. The resulting puzzled looks and double takes from the minute amount of passing traffic was brilliant! I think it’s one of the things I enjoy most in life, getting puzzled and shocked reactions from people. I even got honked by a bunch of chavs, so thankyou, wherever you are.
The empty B road also provided some good photographic opportunities to my mind. So there I was, kneeling in the middle of an empty road that is absolutely chocka at times, and fairly busy at the best of times. It felt bizarre, yet absolutely amazing. Maybe it’s why I enjoy films about dystopian futures so much, wondering around when it seems like the place is deserted. Anyway, I’ve no idea if the photos are any good, I’m yet to upload them off the camera, but fingers crossed…

Then whilst on the phone to Alba (who was slightly creeped out at the fact that I was wondering down the middle of main roads) I decided I’d wonder past the pubs to see if anything exciting was happening. As it happened, it did. Before the pub itself there was a bunch of a dozen or so mini chavs, a couple of whom had those irritating horn things that loads of football fans have in South Africa. They appeared to be having barrels of fun hooting at passing motorists, and of course me. I’m sure some abuse was hurled too, but I paid no attention. I then walked past the Admiral Duncan, just as the match had finished it appeared. Of course, I proceeded to try and guess the outcome of the game by the pub-goers’ facial expressions:
-Beer garden: fags in hands, pints in some, glum faces, little conversation
-View through pub window: not many standing, pints in hand, undistinguishable faces
-Car park: people hurriedly getting into cars, little conversation, glum faces.
Consequently I drew the conclusion that it was either a draw or the USA had won (which, it transpired, they hadn’t. I guess there would’ve been shots on the table if they had). No action was to be seen outside the slightly more conservative New Inn, where people were probably still drowning their “sorrows”.

And there you have it, my wonderful alternative to what sounds like quite a depressing evening for most. As much as it pains me to say it, I do kind of hope England stay in a bit longer, because then I can do this more often…

20 Days Later

I know, I know, I’m terrible, no posts for twenty days. Exams do count as a decent excuse though, don’t they? Not sure why I’m bothering though, it would appear nobody bothers to read my blog  *cue sad violin music*

So yeah, on that subject, I’m halfway through exams, three down, three to go. Spanish was a couple of weeks ago, and French and General Studies were this week. They aren’t going too badly, although the language exams were two and a half hours each, which is a long time to stay focused for. I also managed to write some answers in the wrong boxes in the French paper, which resulted in frantic scribbling and arrow drawing at the last minute. Oh dear, fingers crossed they’ve gone okay. And the General Studies paper, well, the clue’s in the name: it was a complete load of bull (I’ll spare you the rant). Anyway, a week off for half term now, followed by chemistry, biology and IT4L exams. Oh the joys…

In slightly more exciting news, I passed my lifeguarding assessment last week, meaning I’m now able to work at the leisure centre in town, although I do have to wait for the application form and the CRB checks to go through, which could take several weeks. But it turned out that my assessor was the teacher who taught me to swim when I was diddy and did my lifesaving assessments last year at Oswestry; her name had been mentioned to me before, I guess it just didn’t click that it was that same woman.

Liv, Georgia and I popped down to our old secondary school yesterday to deliver a goodbye card to the receptionist of several years, Jan, who’s leaving. She honestly is the loveliest person I ever have and probably ever will meet, so sweet she will melt your heart and soul. Her post behind her desk was plastered in cards and presents, which are testament to just how fantastic she is, and she seemed incredibly touched that we’d made the effort to come and see her. She insisted she’d never forget us and would really love to take us to Lincoln with her. Bless, we need more people like her!

Ooh, and inbetween exams and revision, I’m attempting to teach myself the guitar. It’s going okay I suppose, I can do some chords and that’s about it. I’m also avoiding barre chords where possible, because they’re just, bleh. Not nice.

And finally, before I go, it’s the Eurovision Song Contest tonight! Major yay! An evening of beautifully cheesey pop to laugh at. Liv and Kim are coming round to join in the festivities, and I even have Union Jack hats and flags, despite the fact we’re not really bothered how the UK do, our song really isn’t that brilliant to be honest. Although saying that we did come fifth last year with the new voting system. Bring back Scooch I say, I honestly don’t think anything match their Eurovision-yness! Georgia is also making an appearance when she finishes work, although I fear I may have to Febreze her (it’s a fabric freshener, not some bad sexual innuendo) if she smells of chip fat.

Perhaps the problem with these blog posts is that they’re too long. Maybe if I blogged more often and with shorter posts that might deter people less, I guess large blocks of text aren’t the most inviting of things are they? Hmm. Well I can have a ramble about possible degree choices in my next one, so I’ll try not to leave it three weeks as I have done with this one. I promise… ish.

Behind the Times

Oh dear. It would appear my resolution to do a decent amount of blogging isn’t going too well. I’ve had rather alot on though, with mock exams and past papers being thrown at me from every subject, I’m sure many can empathise with me here, but apologies nonetheless.

So, here’s an update on mi vida, although it isn’t loca, so don’t get excited (that wasn’t even remotely witty, or interesting, even to a hardcore Ricky Martin fan, soz)…

Two weeks ago yesterday I started a lifeguarding course at The Quarry in Shrewsbury, with the intended consequence of this hopefully being a fairly well-payed job. It’s on for five weeks, so involves me missing a few Youth Orchestra rehearsals, meaning I probably won’t be too popular. On the flip side, there are some people from college on the course, Joe, Catherine (amusingly referred to as ‘Pony Girl’ by our trainer, due to her email address, not because he thinks she has a horsey face) and Becky. Surprisingly, there are only twelve of us on the course, I was expecting loads more, but hey, I’m not complaining. I am complaining about the 8am – 4pm days though, they are sooooo long and tiring, especially for a Saturday. So I’d better pass, I don’t give up my lie-ins for nothing you know…

Last weekend was Liv’s birthday, and involved a surprise picnic in the Quarry being organised. Things did get quite hairy at one point, with Liv organising a party of the same sort on the same day, eek! Thankfully, it all turned out quite well, with a good turn out and even the rain held off for us. Alba and I turned up late, meaning we missed out on decorating the bandstand and Liv’s arrival, but we were in time for the cake, obviously the most important part of any birthday for stomach minded people such as myself. And all credit to Eloise, it was rather good, lovingly adorned with icing and marshmallows. And for some reason unknown me, we all headed down to Carol’s afterwards. This mostly involved substituting a French teacher’s name into songs, which proved rather amusing, as did the sing-song around Carol’s piano. We were rather short on music, so we were reduced at one point to substituting various Italian foods into the lyrics of ‘Time to Say Goodbye’, seen as most of it’s in Italian. Amusing attempts were also made to murder songs by John Lennon, ABBA and Coldplay. Beautiful. All in all, a fantastic day.

This Wednesday just gone was my French oral. Another 40% of my AS level gone in little over half an hour, following the same format as my Spanish one (read the relevant and dull previous post for more thrilling details). And if I’m honest, I don’t think it went as well as the Spanish, with even my finest French “Euh, euuuh”s not managing to save it in my opinion. But hey, you never know, the result may turn out better than expected, and the written exam is worth 60%, so that could make up for it. Fingers crossed. The Spanish written paper is rapidly approaching, being a week on Tuesday *insert relevant expletives here*, as well as the other half of a biology mock and a chemistry mock this week *insert stronger expletives here*.

Ooh, and I got some half decent pictures of a sunset t’other day. Here’s one of them:

Overly orange sunset, looking out towards Ruyton...

You can see more artistic attempts that WordPress hasn’t made blurry on my Flickr (there be a link on my ‘About Me’ page, for which there’s a tab in the header of this page) or my Facebook album entitled ‘Photography Shizz’, if of course you have nothing more important to be doing, don’t let me keep you…

Ooh, and I’m now burdening our postman with a big wadge of university prospectuses. I shall of course let you know how my decision making goes at some point. Which hopefully won’t be in two weeks time. Oops.

The Empty River

Me? Writing poetry? I know, it’s a crazy thought, but it’s happened. After becoming incredibly frustrated with my computer this morning, I thought rather than resorting to biscuits to calm me down, I’d try overly metaphorical, rhyming poetry (as you do). So here it is, and I’m actually quite pleased and surprised at how well it’s come out. I’m still not too sure about the title (it’s the same as the title for this post), so any suggestions or questions on that or any of the poem are more than welcome, good or bad…

———
The chasms they widen, the rift it grows,
A river without water, yet still it flows.
A bullet without a chamber, a shot with no sound,
She feels so lonely, yet people are all around.

A heart like ceramic, fabricated with fire,
But it’s empty, it echoes, where is the desire?
This heart, as though porcelain, it shatters and breaks,
You can glue it together, yet in its wake,

The waves do not crash, dash, splash,
Instead there is silence, the falling of ash.
The fire extinguished, the passion vanquished.
Was it really over? So much was unfinished.

He told her he loved her, he pretended he cared,
And to her it was magic, this bond that they shared.
Then the mirror was smashed, and what once lay between,
Vanished from sight, was nowhere to be seen.

So across the floor, the shards lie scattered,
What she’d seen in that reflection, was what she thought had mattered.
Emotions oblique, their meanings distorted,
Fading into the shadows, the heartstrings contorted.

Though after the winter, spring will flower,
The songbirds will sing, despite April’s dark showers.
Water will flow in that river once more,
The waves they will crash as they lash at the shore.

And the scars will heal, of that I am sure.
———

La Vida Normal Reanuda

Ahh, so we all went back to college on Monday. Back to the daily drag of actually having to get up in the morning and do a decent amount of work in the day. Not good. Kerosene strength coffee has had to be deployed on more than one occasion already this week…

And the pressure really was on, as I had a Spanish oral (or speaking, the correct term is always up for debate, I’m undecided) exam today. So this of course meant constant cramming of words and phrases that could be used to describe my normally mundane life to make it sound exciting. 40% of my AS Level grade was to be decided in half an hour. That’s more than 1% per fricking minute!

So, today came. Despite the usual inadequate amount of sleep last night, I was actually feeling quite perky this morning, possibly thanks to adrenaline already flowing in my veins from the nerves I had. Actually, more sleep could have been had, as I normally have a free first period on a Wednesday, meaning I don’t have to get a bus into town until 9:30, as opposed to 8:00 on a normal day. But oh no, our examiner decides he wants to introduce himself to us at 9:15. Yes, I know that’s very nice of him, but I value my sleep quite highly. This talk lasted all of five minutes, and involved him telling us mostly what we already knew: what the exam would involve, what we might be asked and a couple of tips. He also gave an example (in Spanish, obviously) of how quickly he’d talk in the exam. Now, I’d known beforehand that this man would be a Scouser, and on many a bored occasion I had gone over in mind what a Scouser speaking Spanish might sound like; the result I’d got in my head was a very amusing one, and even more so when I tried speaking some Spanish in a nice, heavy, Coleen Rooney-esque style. This did not, however, prepare me for what our examiner’s voice would sound like. In some ways I was quite disappointed that what came out of his mouth didn’t match the hilarity created in my brain, although instead he had quite a puzzling voice that caused me to screw up my face on more than one occasion. Not that I’m saying my Spanish accent is perfect Castilian, but his was odd.

In the end I had plenty of time to prepare (my exam was scheduled for 12:20), with my free first period, followed by the fact I was not just allowed, but expected to skip both biology and French by Martin, my Spanish teacher. Good times. This of course didn’t stop the mounting nerves, even with constant reassurances from various people that I’d be okay. In my mind, I was completely bricking it. Shortly before my exam I was also given a dry run by Martin, who also reassured me that all would be well. Still no help. I was petrified.

And so came zero hour. I was lead into a room where I had to pick two cards with different stimuli on them, and I ended up with one that had a picture of a tattoo on it, followed by questions on the habits of young people, and another with various questions on healthy living (I know, lovely topics aren’t they?). I had fifteen minutes to prepare these, followed by fifteen minutes of talking, half of which was devoted to these cards, and the other half to “general conversation”. In other words, about 8 minutes of semi-prepared conversation about yours truly, based on my hobbies, studies and future plans. The temptation to say that my future  plans were to take over the word with a crack team of ninja llamas was a little overwhelming. Thankfully, I resisted.

In the end, I think I did okay. Not brilliantly, as I can think of several places where I fluffed up, but the examiner reckoned I’d get a good mark. My French teacher, Ron, told me not to believe him as he’s Scouse. Bless Ron and his sarcasm and dry humour. And I have to go through all this again a week on Wednesday, as I have French orals. Oh the joys…

Ooh, and thankfully, after nearly a week of delay, Alba and family are on their way home. The flight they were transferred onto from New York went via Frankfurt, and then they ended up on a flight to London City. So they’re now on a train to Birmingham airport, presumably to pick up the car. So it’s swings and roundabouts, and this has more than made up for my day of being completely and utterly petrified.

Bittersweet

Hmm, I really should be doing work right now. So you’d better feel privileged, you’re taking priority here…

In continuation with the birthday festivities for Kim and I, a picnic up Nesscliffe woods was organised on Friday. I mean, even the sun decided to shine, and prospective numbers of picnicers was high, so things were going well. Until people started dropping out, and so it was left with myself, Kim, Chloe, Katherine, Alice and Bethan. Oh, and my dog Lucky. But this wasn’t going to stop us having fun. Well, Kim didn’t exactly set off on the right foot to begin with, after falling foul of the huge incompetences of Arriva, (the local bus company, who are rubbish in just about every respect) who misinformed her of which tickets to buy and so ended up overcharging her by about £5. On top of all this, she also discovered that the number 70 (the bus that goes through Nesscliffe) happens to pass within a ten minute walk of her house, when instead she got another bus to get to the bus station in order to catch the number 70. So all in all, not a happy bunny.

However, despite our initial misfortunes, it turned out to be quite a fun afternoon, filling ourselves with a week’s worth of sugar and e-numbers before running around a forest playing an elaborate form of hide and seek that used to be played at primary school (don’t judge, we’re all far too nostalgic for our own good. It’s called 40/40 for those who are interested). A rope swing was also discovered over a very steep, tree root covered bank. Could I resist? Pfft! Of course I couldn’t! Besides, it was quite on the safe side, a mass of nylon-ish rope wrapped around a thick tree branch with a twig type thing to sit on. It also happened to be above waist height for most people, although fortunately me and my long legs this didn’t pose a problem, and it all proved to be far too much fun. Well, aside from the risk that I wouldn’t be able to have kids if I landed on the T-shaped rope and twig joint incorrectly. Watching slightly smaller people try and get on it was equally amusing, although I did offer to help every so often so as not to look completely sadistic.
So all in all, a good lot of fun was had.

Finally, last night was my birthday meal out with the family, which took place at out usual birthday celebrating spot, La Lanterna, an Italian restaurant somewhere near St. Julian’s Friars in Shrewsbury. It proved to be as lovely as ever, and I even risked trying lambs liver, to see if it was as bad as the press it frequently seems to get from various people I know. The verdict? It tasted nice (mine was done in a red wine), although not out of this world, and the texture was rather bizarre, like a tougher version of pâté (yes, I know that sounds obvious as they’re both liver, but I can’t think of a better way to describe it). And after three rather filling courses, I’m quite surprised I didn’t have to roll myself home…

Unfortunately we were one short, as my girlfriend, Alba, was unable to join us. She and her family are in the rather tricky situation of being stuck the other side of the Atlantic in New York, due to the airspace closure over most of Europe, caused by the huge ash cloud from the eruption of Eyjafjallajökull (now try saying that again, with your teeth in this time), in Iceland. Fortunately, they have “discovered”, somehow, that they have relatives on Long Island, meaning a large hotel bill doesn’t have to be run up. They have apparently been told that they’ll leave for Birmingham on Tuesday, via Frankfurt, and arrive at around lunchtime on Wednesday. Whether this will happen is anyone’s guess, as wind direction and ash flow are two factors that can change quite quickly. But we have hope, so let’s give it all we’ve got…

Happy Birthday to Me

Unfortunately I couldn’t come up with a more imaginative title. But hey, at least now you know what this post’s about before you’ve even read it. Clever that…

So, the first half of my 17th passed uneventfully, but not unpleasantly, with presents from the family being a tshirt, a small soft toy version of Timmy from Shaun the Sheep (yeah, cos I’m cool like that) and some L plates. Other presents included a CD, a book of gone wrong adverts, and a sheep shower scrunchie (also from Shaun the Sheep).

And then was my party, shared with Kim due to us having the same birthday. This started with a game of laserquest, with us ten and two complete strangers. More people to gang up on, yay! Due to a machine fault we ended up playing a game where we were split into two teams, but to summarise for those unfamiliar to laserquest, this involved a dozen teenagers running around an oversized, multi-tiered dark room screaming and firing laser guns at each other in order to gain points. It is more fun than it sounds, honest.

Following this was a chance to prove my bowling prowess, of which there’s none. Absolutely none. Even my between the legs trick shot, which usually gets strikes, didn’t work. It also didn’t help that we were told off by staff when we “borrowed” the Finding Nemo and Monsters Inc. kiddie balls from the next lane, which wasn’t even being used! Some people just have no idea what fun is do they? Party poopers. So we instead headed to the jukebox, which controls the music for the WHOLE bowling alley (yes, we were grinning manically). So obviously the whole building was subjected to the cheesiest of cheesey classics, such as Rick Astley, Dexy’s Midnight Runners and Steps. Ahh, it was beautiful.

And finally, before we left, there was all the shenaniagans with the birthday cake. It was an additives lover’s dream, a chocolate cake covered in chocolate icing, topped off with smarties AND rolos. Kim had very thoughtfully bought candles that spell out ‘Happy Birthday’ along with the cake, as well as the obvious matches and large kitchen knife. So, mix teenagers with a cake, matches, candles and a kitchen knife, and what do you get? Put simply, chaos. Kim, Kanchana, Eloise and I were all doing our best to get the thirteen (yes, this number should have proved ominous) candles lit, but we’d all forget that when we blew our overly flaming matches out, we’d also blow the candles out. Suffice to say, lighting them all took several attempts. One of mine caused much pandemonium, after I used too much force to swipe the match, causing the stick to snap and the flame to go shooting across the table, resulting in a giant scream from Eloise and a nice scorch mark across the table.  Thankfully it didn’t land on the carpet, and despite more smoke than a 1960s men’s social club, the smoke alarms didn’t go off. To finish it all off, I was let loose with a cake and knife, although surprisingly the cake came out of it in relatively good condition and no-one was harmed in anyway.

The firey mayhem that ensued...

So all in all, a rather fun day. This is set to continue tomorrow with a picnic up Nesscliffe woods so that more people can be dragged into the festivities. I shall of course let you know how it went, if this rather dull entry hasn’t put you off completely…

Panic is Immanent

So here is my first blog post in just under a year (okay, you can stop tutting now). But to make up for it I’ve gone to all the effort of redoing my ‘About Me’ section and have deleted all my old blog posts so I can have a fresh start. In addition to that, reading some of my old posts made me cringe, much like how watching a video of yourself makes you think: “Oh dear, do I really sound like that? Look at my face! And the way I walk, it’s horrible!”
Well, that’s what I end up thinking anyway…

So, what’s going on right now? Well, I’m on my second week of Easter holidays. This is good. I’m spending most of my time preparing for my AS Level oral exams though. This is not good. Spanish is next week and French a couple of weeks after. While I seem to do okay in mocks, nerves always seem to get to me alot in the real thing, so all this preparation I’ve done will probably amount to nothing as I panic and my mind shouts vulgar words that I probably shouldn’t write on here.

More importantly, it’s my birthday on Thursday, which will involve a game of laserquest/quasar (weatherproof indoor paintballing without the pain), a round of bowling, a picnic on Friday and a family meal out on Saturday (in other words, plenty of excuses not to do exam preparation). Being 17 also means I will then legally be able to drive a motorised chunk of potential accident. I mean a car of course, although the thought of me being allowed to take to the roads is a scary one, the potential for danger is high. Saying that, I do know how to drive a car, having been able to practise on a patch of farm land that they use for HGV training (traffic cones ahoy!) with my father and some cows about half a mile away being the only things I could possibly injure in any way. I can do the all the moving forwards, changing gear, turning and reversing stuff without too much calamity, so the first few hurdles have been jumped already. I even have a copy of the highway code, which is brilliant if you love being patronised completely; allow me to quote from the section entitled ‘Rules for Pedestrians’:
“When pushing a young child in a buggy, do not push the buggy into the road when checking to see if it is clear to cross, particularly between parked vehicles.”
I’m sorry, but at what point are you going to shove your pride and joy into the middle of a road whilst checking to see if there’s no oncoming traffic?!
“Oh look, I’ve lost my child, but at least I now know that I can cross the road safely without being harmed. Silly me.”
My respect for the AA is dropping, at a rate of knots. Anyway, surely you’d hear traffic coming wouldn’t you?

Perhaps I should stop this post right now before I get too carried away, get embarrassed by it in 12 months time and consequently end up having to mercilessly delete it like the last lot…